Restless Heart - Matt Hires, A song of emotional chastity

Have you heard this song by Matt Hires? It’s stinkin catchy – like listen on repeat catchy. It makes me want to dance around in a converted barn filled with Pinterest-esque do it yourself décor and Christmas lights hanging from the ceilings.

But in all seriousness, after about the 5^th time I listened to it in a row, I began to think about the words I was singing, and I realized, hey – there are a few GREAT lessons in this song! So, here are 3.

Emotional chastity…

            It doesn’t take a genius to see that people are “falling in love” way too easily. Just think about how many teenage girls are brought to tears when a teen icon or boy band  (Is 1D still popular?) gets on stage. And why is this – because mentally and emotionally they have connected themselves to a person they don’t even know!
            But a real danger in emotional chastity is when we connect emotionally to people around us in a way that gives them control over us. That usually ends with us being hurt, even if there were no physical lines crossed.

Lyrics like “I know that it’s all just a game” and “I won’t let this fire start” show that Matt Hires recognizes this. He doesn’t jump into emotionally attaching himself to this girl even though he is attracted to her because he sees the potential for heart break. Entertaining the idea isn’t an option. In fact, he flat out denies it proclaiming “You’re not going to get it from me!”

            Ladies and gents– let’s take a lesson from this. Emotional chastity is important and matters! Don’t look for something or entertain ideas that aren’t healthy. We can see a bad idea most of the time, but we enjoy the game of entertaining it. Let’s allow our heads/brains/logic protect our heart.

Matthew 7:6 reads “Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.” We are not obligated to give everything to a person just because they desire it. Ladies, a man must earn your heart; don’t give it to the first guy who asks. And gentlemen, find the girl whose heart is worth earning; not the girl that will just give it away.

Long term goals for love

            This guy gets it. He really does! First he sees that this girl is a bad idea, so he distances himself before he gets hurt (emotional chastity people!). Then he drops a zinger on the purpose of dating:

Everyone's looking for love
Looking for something to hold onto
Oh I've been looking for 25 years
and I know I won't find it in you.

He’s been waiting, but decided that being patient and waiting for the real thing would be better than entering into a fling. It makes sense right, why be in a relationship if you know it’s not going to work (or if it is currently not working?) The value of your heart and your love, is way more than the fleeting excitement of a fling.

You may be thinking “So, just don’t date, and keep my heart closed off to everything that could hurt me?”

Of course not! Just go about cautiously and  think through things – because YOU ARE WORTH IT. Be sure you understand the reasons you are entering the relationship and the reason they are too.  (note that “because it feels good” probably isn’t the best reason to love someone.”) When the right person comes along you want to be ready for them, not stuck dealing with past relationship scars and emotional pains.

The cure for restlessness

The line “no you’re not going to get it from me” could have a double meaning here. It could be as mentioned above that he is keeping his heart safe from the girl who could break it. Or, he’s dropping more wisdom.

            The full line is “You say love is all that you need, well you’re not goin to get it from me.” And that is so true – seriously people, listen up, our boyfriends or girlfriends, and even future husbands and wives (one day potentially) will not give complete and total peace to our restless hearts. That is the job of God our Father, Christ the son, and the Holy Spirit. The relationship we have and the faith we hold in our triune God will give peace to our restless hearts, not any boy/girl, fleeting relationship, or flirtation with danger.

We have all read, heard, or seen on a prayer card/church calendar the following quote:

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in you” –St. Augustine

Well, have we tried to rest in him? Have we tried to put our hearts in his hand? Or are our restless hearts “beating out on our sleeves” ?

First and foremost this should be our goal – to strive to love God, with our entire being: our emotional heart, our logical mind, and our vulnerable and living soul. He is the only one who will give us a perfect love. And as we enter more into that relationship, we will learn how to be better in our other relationships.

So next time you listen to this song, please sing it loud, roll down the windows, and (if you aren’t driving) clap your hands or dashboard drum. But also remember the lessons that we ALL need to be reminded…

1.      Guard your heart emotionally from potential bumps and bruises along the road of life – it’s not worth it!

2.      Be patient and wait for the real thing! Again, because anything less than love isn’t worth it, and real love will wait!

3.      Remember to place your hearts not on your sleeves, but let them rest in the love of the Trinity.

Praying for you all!