Fasting for Syria - short commentary

I am no good at fasting.

There I said it. I like food, I like to be comfortable, I don't mind going with out food if the situation calls for it, but fasting was always hard. It's hard to go to bed on a lenten Thursday, knowing that Friday I can't have chicken nuggets. But if in the course of the day I happen to not eat meat I don't really bat an eye.

So the Pope asked us to fast today - see look at this.

So humble and so holy, but seriously Papa? It's a Saturday. Can't I just wait until I have a busy day where I happen to only have time for one meal and call it good?

Well, when I start to justify my lazy faith life, my guardian angel or catholic guilt voice (not sure which on yet) starts to chime in.

"It's inconvenient and annoying to fast today? It's probably inconvenient for a civil war too. You are complaining that you won't get to eat meat... Good thing it's not something important like your home got destroyed because then I wouldn't hear the end of it. You don't really feel like praying? Hm, I'm sure the persecuted Christians of the world respect your decision."

ok - the snarkieness makes me think it's my Catholic guilt voice.

I'm also hearing this in my head (As my stomach begins to rumble) 
"It's going to be hard - your right, and that is ok. Not only can you handle it, but fasting and praying isn't worthless, but is a beautiful sacrifice to God. Yeah, sometimes I don't get it either, but you know that it is important. You'll be hungry, suck it up. you won't want to devote extra time to pray - do it anyway. Because the world isn't all about you, and when you realize that, is when you can start making a difference for other people."

This one I think is my guardian angel, perhaps with a bit o' Mother Mary sneaking in there.

So - carry on Catholic brothers and sisters. 
enjoy your fasting Saturday, because it is good for us to do this, and it is good for us to do this together.

praying for you all.

Constancy in Change

Edit: before you read the blog - open this link in a new tab and listen while you read. I went to an event where there was praise and adoration the day I wrote this blog and was reminded of how this song fits so well. Enjoy!
One Thing Remains


Transition. Change. Moving Parts. 
All of these types of things lead me to being unsettled and anxious. I'm at a odd summer in my life, one where my mom asks me every few days, "So where are you staying tonight?" Disclaimer: I'm not homeless, just in between different temporary living situations so with all this moving it's hard to keep things straight. 

But even with all of this transition, learning new roads and figuring out where the Walmart is, there has been a solid foundation and refuge for me - St. Matt's Adoration chapel. In the most up in the air times - I know He is there wanting to give me comfort. The schedules are filling up more and more, but I know that every Tuesday, Aaron and I will kneel before our Lord to thank him, ask for grace, and simply BE with Him for a while. 

My life has never really been too consistent. It was always just me checking off my tasks in no particular order or rhythm. I went to Mass every Sunday and would make time to pray, however my prayers would mostly be impromptu and random. But in my unevenness and ad-hoc faith life, Christ's constancy is beautiful. It's something I learned as a sophomore in high school - God's love is unchanging. And it is a lesson I continue to learn more and more.

This new found stability in adoration is a beautiful thing. And I encourage you to take time each week or month and make it YOUR prayer time. Keep it, even if it's hard, even if you rearrange your schedule. It's worth it because with the constancy come a deeper understanding and relationship. I am just at the tip of the iceberg for the graces that will come. Lord help me be open to all the ways you desire to love me. 

praying for you all.

Restless Heart - Matt Hires, A song of emotional chastity

Have you heard this song by Matt Hires? It’s stinkin catchy – like listen on repeat catchy. It makes me want to dance around in a converted barn filled with Pinterest-esque do it yourself décor and Christmas lights hanging from the ceilings.

But in all seriousness, after about the 5^th time I listened to it in a row, I began to think about the words I was singing, and I realized, hey – there are a few GREAT lessons in this song! So, here are 3.

Emotional chastity…

            It doesn’t take a genius to see that people are “falling in love” way too easily. Just think about how many teenage girls are brought to tears when a teen icon or boy band  (Is 1D still popular?) gets on stage. And why is this – because mentally and emotionally they have connected themselves to a person they don’t even know!
            But a real danger in emotional chastity is when we connect emotionally to people around us in a way that gives them control over us. That usually ends with us being hurt, even if there were no physical lines crossed.

Lyrics like “I know that it’s all just a game” and “I won’t let this fire start” show that Matt Hires recognizes this. He doesn’t jump into emotionally attaching himself to this girl even though he is attracted to her because he sees the potential for heart break. Entertaining the idea isn’t an option. In fact, he flat out denies it proclaiming “You’re not going to get it from me!”

            Ladies and gents– let’s take a lesson from this. Emotional chastity is important and matters! Don’t look for something or entertain ideas that aren’t healthy. We can see a bad idea most of the time, but we enjoy the game of entertaining it. Let’s allow our heads/brains/logic protect our heart.

Matthew 7:6 reads “Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.” We are not obligated to give everything to a person just because they desire it. Ladies, a man must earn your heart; don’t give it to the first guy who asks. And gentlemen, find the girl whose heart is worth earning; not the girl that will just give it away.

Long term goals for love

            This guy gets it. He really does! First he sees that this girl is a bad idea, so he distances himself before he gets hurt (emotional chastity people!). Then he drops a zinger on the purpose of dating:

Everyone's looking for love
Looking for something to hold onto
Oh I've been looking for 25 years
and I know I won't find it in you.

He’s been waiting, but decided that being patient and waiting for the real thing would be better than entering into a fling. It makes sense right, why be in a relationship if you know it’s not going to work (or if it is currently not working?) The value of your heart and your love, is way more than the fleeting excitement of a fling.

You may be thinking “So, just don’t date, and keep my heart closed off to everything that could hurt me?”

Of course not! Just go about cautiously and  think through things – because YOU ARE WORTH IT. Be sure you understand the reasons you are entering the relationship and the reason they are too.  (note that “because it feels good” probably isn’t the best reason to love someone.”) When the right person comes along you want to be ready for them, not stuck dealing with past relationship scars and emotional pains.

The cure for restlessness

The line “no you’re not going to get it from me” could have a double meaning here. It could be as mentioned above that he is keeping his heart safe from the girl who could break it. Or, he’s dropping more wisdom.

            The full line is “You say love is all that you need, well you’re not goin to get it from me.” And that is so true – seriously people, listen up, our boyfriends or girlfriends, and even future husbands and wives (one day potentially) will not give complete and total peace to our restless hearts. That is the job of God our Father, Christ the son, and the Holy Spirit. The relationship we have and the faith we hold in our triune God will give peace to our restless hearts, not any boy/girl, fleeting relationship, or flirtation with danger.

We have all read, heard, or seen on a prayer card/church calendar the following quote:

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in you” –St. Augustine

Well, have we tried to rest in him? Have we tried to put our hearts in his hand? Or are our restless hearts “beating out on our sleeves” ?

First and foremost this should be our goal – to strive to love God, with our entire being: our emotional heart, our logical mind, and our vulnerable and living soul. He is the only one who will give us a perfect love. And as we enter more into that relationship, we will learn how to be better in our other relationships.

So next time you listen to this song, please sing it loud, roll down the windows, and (if you aren’t driving) clap your hands or dashboard drum. But also remember the lessons that we ALL need to be reminded…

1.      Guard your heart emotionally from potential bumps and bruises along the road of life – it’s not worth it!

2.      Be patient and wait for the real thing! Again, because anything less than love isn’t worth it, and real love will wait!

3.      Remember to place your hearts not on your sleeves, but let them rest in the love of the Trinity.

Praying for you all!

Post Steubenville Blues: Faith and the Jesus High

I have been involved in ministry officially (with a role and a paycheck) for 3 years, and before that I have had a history of being in ministry as a youth, a leader, and the awkward college student who came home on breaks. Needless to say I’ve seen plenty of people who went on missions/conferences/trips/ retreats who’s “lives were changed” by the experience. I guess when they said life, I expected something more permanent than 36 hours, my mistake.

But I totally understand it guys. I was there, I’ve gone on retreats/missions and came back changed … for 36 hours. I’ve come back with a resolve to do better and love more that lasted 3 weeks, or 2 months. The question on so many young minds as they leave Steubenville conferences, Jesus camps, and mission trips this year is how can I keep feeling this way? 

Well, truth is, you can’t. I hate to break it to you, but if you will constantly look for the “feeling the Jesus high” and be crushed when it goes away – well, you will be crushed, every time, I guarantee.

That is because Jesus is not a feeling. Actually, NO relationship is a feeling. If that were the case no relationship would last, each one would be fleeting (which is not how I would like to live).

When we attend a conference or high intensity Jesus weekend or week, it’s not about the feeling, but it is an opportunity to encounter Christ. So, did you truly encounter Christ? Did you sit with him in prayer at Mass? Did you truly accept his forgiveness from the sacrament of Confession? Or was it more about the cross clap, getting a seat next to the new cute boy/girl who also went?

Well, there is good news. Since the faith isn’t about the “Jesus high,” you don’t need thousands of dollars of production, famous musicians and speakers, and a gym/conference center to keep the faith. But there are some things you DO need…

  

1. Support - You had it at the conference.. and you could see it because everyone wore matching t-shirts. But you have support even at home – find your youth minister and be extra involved. Take time to specifically talk with your friend who also went to the experience, and talk ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE. (hanging out at the mall and gossiping doesn’t quite count as “Jesus time” just because it’s youth group friends.) 

     Support others who are in their own journey, and ask for support and prayers from them too.  

    

     2. Silence/Prayer- At these conference is a lot of noise.. not bad noise, but still noise. Loud songs, the “we love Jesus” cheer, chatter, clapping, etc. Well hopefully there was one or two things you remember, wrote down, or took a picture of that you though were important. Take that quote, line of a song, image, or whatever it may be and sit with it in silence. Don’t listen to the song, write the lyric down and meditate on it. In the silence of prayer we can find God and allow him to draw us to him more closely.

3. Sacraments -  Again, Jesus is a person who established the Church that we may experience his presence through that Church and the sacraments. We must continue to be fed though the Eucharist, we need to continue to be forgiven in the sacrament of Confession.  Mass won’t end each Sunday with thunderous applause and an encore of the final song. But that doesn’t discount the miracle that took place, or the true presence of Christ now residing in you.

So, perhaps a weekend this summer, or last left you excited, ready to change the world be a light in the darkness! Only to realize “oh, it’s too dark!” Don’t be discouraged! As one of the speakers I heard this summer said “Don’t let this be a memory, let it be a momentum that changes your life forever.”

It will take time to change the world, but before you change the world, you must have firm resolve to constantly change yourself to become more like Christ each day. It’s hard work, and you will need constant prayer and support. But take courage, when it’s difficult, when you aren’t “feeling” the faith – remember, it’s more than the Jesus high, it’s a relationship, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Fisher of Men

I'm reading a great book by Bob Rice called "Between the Savior and the Sea."  It is a fiction story that follows Peter and the other apostles as they begin to follow Jesus and it offers great reflection as to what they possibly were thinking or feeling as they were called to be fishers of men.

As a semi English nerd who loves to analyze literature and as a devout Catholic - this book is beautiful. Its well written, easy to understand, and puts a face on a very familiar character filling his head with emotions and thoughts. Its great for reflection and to just read.

I'm not too far into the book (about 100 pages into the 300) but the beginning portion focused on Jesus meeting his potential apostles, getting to know them and then the choosing of the 12. The scene of the choosing was a small climax, with characters full of anxiety, excitement, tears, and emotions. After hearing that Gospel hundreds of times, I never sat down and thought about how that story would have played out in real life.

But one inanimate character that I am particularly interested in is the sea. As a fisherman Peter and the Sea have a love hate relationship - Peter needs the sea, but also despises its temperament and inconsistency. 

As Peter walks to the hill where Jesus is about to choose his Apostles, he looks at the sea. The sea says two things to him that are very important it says, "Surely you have received enough, isn't it selfish to want more?" and the next line, "Jesus could tak you away from here, isn't it safer to stay?"

The sea metaphor of dropping everything we have, and following Jesus is beautiful. And in the book we see Peter struggle with complete self abandonment in following Jesus. We too all struggle with giving everything to Jesus. And the sea's words to Peter identify what specifically we struggle with - Shame, and fear.

Many times the devil brings us to shame - You are too selfish. Why do you think YOU would be an apostle?  Are you kidding me? You're just a fisherman, why would Jesus want you?
What Peter was struggling with is the same thing that we struggle with. We assume that Jesus follows human thought, but what we forget, and what Peter was learning was that Jesus is more than just human, he is also Divine. That his mercy covers our shame, and he sees the light inside of us when we fail to recognize it.

Other times the devil brings us to fear - This is what you know Peter. If you didn't have the sea, what would you do? How would you live? It isn't worth the risk. Just stay here.
We too are fearful and hesitant to trust in the Lord. What happens if I quit my job that is immoral - then what? I can't stand up for that value, what would everyone think? Its safer to be here then to go out on a limb. I'll just be here and coast. 

But just as Peter accepted Jesus' call, we must also cast aside our shame and fear to do the same. There are tons of objects, comforts, situations that call us to stay the same, to coast, that shame us into thinking we are not worthy of anything. 

So think, what is in in our lives that call out to us ... "Isn't it selfish of you? Isn't it safer to stay?" Identify the shame and the fear, and then, like Peter, humbly accept the call.

Jesus wants to do great things with you, he knows you can do it. 
Join him, become a fisher of men.
 

Mass Reflection: Service and Time

Mass Reflection: 16th Sunday of Ordinary Time, July 21 
Readings for the Mass can be found here.

Read the readings first, it's important... I'll wait (focus on the first and the Gospel)

Ok, did you read them? Good... The two words we will be focusing on are service and time.

The first reading is an interesting story. From the book of Genesis it begins with Abraham seeing these three men, then insisting on them staying and on him serving them the choice cattle and fresh bread. His insistence to serve them dinner and persistence is comparable to the waiters and restaurant owners in the cobble paths of Rome begging you to dine at their tables. How could those three men (or men/angels of God as we learn) think of saying no?

The entire first reading is dedicated to how Abraham served them - and the reading goes into detail as if to say "look, look at ALL the things Abraham did for them! He went all out on hospitality." Abraham even dragged his wife, who I'm sure was busy with her own plans for the day, into baking fresh bread for the visitors. 

In the end of this passage Abraham's hospitality and Sarah's obedience granted them a blessing - the three men told Abraham that he was going to have a son by this time next year. (Which Sarah over hears and laughs at because she is old and barren... but read ahead- Chapter 21 - her son Isaac is born)

Now lets switch to the Gospel. We first learn that Jesus and company are "on a journey" when Martha and Mary welcome him. I don't think it is too much to assume that Jesus is being followed by more than the apostles; the 72 men he sent out earlier in the chapter, possibly the "scholar of the law" that just asked him "who is my neighbor" is with them too, not to mention people looking to be healed to wanting to hear the teacher.

Basically, they welcome Jesus, and get a huge gathering. Instead of helping her sister be a hostess and serve the many people (make bread, get water, etc.) Mary takes her time to be with Jesus. Sitting in the room (probably taboo since the room was full of men) Mary listens to him speak.

Martha asks Jesus about this (hey, I'd be mad too!) but Jesus responds that Mary has chosen the better part. The classic lesson from this familiar Gospel is that busy work is not as important as spending time with Jesus.

So let's recap:
Reading 1: serve and God will grant you blessings
Gospel: God is more interested in your time than service

Wait... what? It seems contradictory, but I believe the lesson from the Gospel is about balancing service to the Lord and time with the Lord.

In my own life, I know that when I short change my time with God in prayer or reflection my service suffers. I am not as effective, not as joyful when I try to serve others in the name of Christ and strive to recognize the presence of God in each person. 

In order to serve God to our best ability, we need to listen to him as Mary did. Think of Mass, once we gather in prayer, listen to his word, consume his message and presence in the Eucharist then we are able to "go in peace to love and serve the Lord." It is a first step that needs to be taken as individuals - we need to listen, to grow so that we are able to serve.

So let us spend time this week with the Lord in preparation for Mass so that we are able to listen more closely and be fed more deeply. This way we can be propelled into service in a more complete and perfect way once the Mass is ended.

 

'it is something very near to you'

Mass Reflection: 15th Sunday of Ordinary Time, July 14

This week’s readings can be found here.

This week’s reflection will focus on the first reading from Genesis. The reading depicts Moses speaking to the people about the voice and commandments of God. Moses states “For this command that I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you. … it is something very near to you.”

Keep that short passage in mind.

Tuesday and Wednesday I was able to take a trip and join my friend and her youth group (9-12^th) on a cultural immersion and service trip in North Carolina. Both mornings we started with Lectio Divina (a slow meditation on the scripture).  We read the readings as a group, talked about different words, images, and what the Lord’s message was for each of us individually. Through that short practice we were able to find the Lords command for our lives, share with others, and have a beautiful and simple reflection.

It was not too mysterious, it was not too remote.

 The word of God is sometimes intimidating, the teachings of the Church can be complicated, figuring out what is virtue and vice is harder in as our world turns from black and white to grey.

But is it really? Moses tells us that the command of God – morality, virtue, how to live with purpose and how to find happiness – is “something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.”

The Lord asks us to love, to see the whole person, to not be selfish, to evangelize, and to continue to deepen our relationship with him through prayer. We know these things, they are natural to us, they are written in our hearts. What God wants us to do isn’t mysterious. We don’t need to search high and low for answers, or for God’s will. We have it already in our hearts. Just as Moses said, we "have only to carry it out"