Why I'm not "all about that bass"

So, maybe this blog should just be a song/music discussion. I guess that is where my mind wanders. I'm cool with it. I always did like analyzing the content of songs/movies/commercials/media in general.

Anywho - let's get down to business, and no I'm not defeating any Huns, well not today anyway.

Have you seen this video? It's on the You Tubes. It's on the radio too (if you still listen to that). Apparently it's one of the top songs in the county right now and number 1 on iTunes. If you don't know it's called "All about that Bass" by Meghan Trainor.

It's catchy, moderately clean, and is apparently all about loving yourself just how you are - even if you aren't a size two. 
Sounds great, right?  Man, we need more music like this right?

WRONG!
Now before you close your internet tab, keep reading. There is an important message behind the lyrics of this song if you take a closer listen.

So, why am I not all about that bass? (..sorry couldn't help myself there)
well, let's (of course) take a look at the lyrics...

This song has been called an "ode to plus sized women" probably because of lines in the song like "Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size 2" and "I know you think you're fat, but I'm here to tell you every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top"

Now do not get me wrong I am all about loving your body and yourself no matter what size you are. However, the love you have for yourself should not be dictated by the amount of attention you receive from boys and THAT is what this song is preaching.

The lyrics read:

Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size

She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night

Let's dissect this, 

According to the song, women shouldn't worry about their size because in the end the boys like "a little more booty." So, if we have the booty, then the boys will like us, and Voila! Our worth is established. 

I'm going to glance over the fact that this horrible advice is coming from a MOTHER. (She probably should have said something like "Don't worry about your size, your worth isn't based off of external factors anyway" ...but I digress)

In the end, this song makes me ask a question that frightens me...

When did being objectified become so desirable that we started fighting for the right to be included in the objectification?

The message at the heart of this song isn't "love your body" but it is an invitation for others to objectify you and permission to be ok with and even demand that objectification.

I for one am not ok with giving permission, not matter what size, shape, age, color, or gender you are, to be objectified. And I am certainly against teaching anyone that objectifying others is ok, even if they ask for it.

I, like any other sane woman and also as the song mentions, dislike the unrealistic portrayal of women photo shopped on magazines and billboards. But more than that, I also cringe at the over-sexualization of our culture that is ok with essentially naked ads but shames breastfeeding women. I cry for little girls who are concerned with makeup and outfits at an age where I didn't even know what mascara was.  

This song is an example of how degenerate our culture has become. The normalization of objectification has blinded us. It has blinded us so much that we hear this song and we think it's about loving yourself and feeling beautiful in your own skin. And while that may have been the intent, the message it sends is far from that. The message of the song is that a woman should love her body based on how much a man objectifies and 'loves' it.

And that message is so wrong.
In the end our worth is not based off of how many boys want to hold our booty at night. It's not in how much we have when we "shake it shake it." It's also not in how skinny we are, how big the gap is between our thighs. It isn't found in what we wear or what we do. And it certainly isn't based on how many boys like us, or how many whistle as we walk by. 

Our worth as women, and really as a human being, lies in how we were created. No ability or talent we have make us more human. No skill or intelligence level changes how we were made. We were created in the image of God. We are desired by the King of Kings. We are infinitely loved by him. No amount of booty  can increase or decrease that love. 

So ladies as we continue to live in this sometimes toxic world, be careful what we listen to.  Be careful to not fall into the traps of the culture that tell us that we are worth only what we can give, or what we have. Rest assured that God has us in the deepest part of his heart and while we forget our worth sometimes, he never forgets how precious we are.



find the full lyrics here.

Learning to love more perfectly

So, just because I'm married now doesn't mean I'm not still obsessed with GREAT articles on courtship/dating/ marriage advice/ or catholic womanhood. I still gobble these babies up like internet candy. 

So here is one that I recently read- beautiful article
The Most Beautiful Lie


And here is my reaction to said article that I commented on it.. I try to comment when the spirit tells me to, figured I could share what I thought with my reader(s... I can be hopeful)

"beautiful article- a great read!
A good reminder, however, is that we will never be able to love perfectly. So while the Spirit my be whispering 'not yet' we cannot let our need to be perfect and our desire to become perfect by our own means keep us from living His plan for us. As a recently married catholic woman I must say neither my husband nor I am able to love perfectly. But we allow Christ to mold us and help us to love. The sacrament of marriage is real. Alone I cannot truly and fully love my husband. Together we cannot truly and fully love each other. But with Christ we are able to more perfectly love. It's a beautiful mystery Christ led me to and I chose to accept."

Some final thoughts and elaborations...
We cannot let our desire to be perfect keep us from allowing Christ to hold and mold us. If Aaron and I had waited to get married until we both were able to love perfectly, well I would be perpetually single. We can't love perfectly... that's why we have sacraments. It's a beautiful thing - and to all my single and called to marriage Catholic friends, you too will see how beautifully the sacrament helps bring you outside yourself and helps you become a being who through the Spirit is able to love a little more perfectly.

praying for you all

an old thought and a new thought, plus a life update

Hello all! So, since I've posted things have changed.... LIKE I GOT MARRIED!!! WHAT!? I know I know, crazy, and yes... this is real life. See... (pics or it didn't happen, right?)

look at that! I didn't mess up or anything

So, that happened. And it happened in a beautiful church - pics to prove it (again). And also happened with THE BEST bridal party. Of course I may be biased... but Fr. Dan doesn't lie, so yeah, they were/are the best.

But these aren't the thoughts I wanted to discuss today - that was basically just a life update. A major one. But more reflection on that will come soon, or not, we'll see where married life takes this blog.

anyway - here are my thoughts

 - old thought - This add -- #howtodad

It's the new(ish)cheerios commercial for peanut butter cheerios if you haven't seen it yet- see the add on youtube here. It's been around for a month or so, but still is pretty impressive.

I like this add for a few reasons, some reasons better than others

1. All around, it is effective - Let's see, it grabs your attention, has good music, doesn't ever lose your attention, and it's comical while also being inspiring. As an avid commercial critic this one is great! 

2. It's for a great product! Who doesn't like cheerios?! and seriously... peanut butter... what took them so long! Sounds delicious. I know exactly what cereal I'm buying next!

3. Most importantly it is a commercial that uplifts men, marriage, fatherhood and family. I mean, listen to what he is saying and pay attention to what he is doing.

     - It portrays a man who is courageous, not lazy - he doesn't roll over in the bed, but gets up immediately when he is called/summoned to do his duty. Where has this character trait been for the past 20 years in television? Thank you cheerios for not emasculating this man.

     - He flirts with his wife, who he calls his wife not just a "woman" or "lover" or "chick" but he gives her dignity. (plus he hands her coffee.. what a keeper, eh?) But seriously, how many jokes/plot lines/ cheap laughs revolve around the idea that once you are married your life is over, or when you've been married a long time you're sadly stuck? This guy doesn't feel that way, and even though it was a brief moment - that interaction is important.

     - Did you notice he has individual moments with his kids all throughout the ad. He talks to them as individuals and is interested in each of their lives. He plays the jungle-gym for his young daughter, he comments about face book to his teenager, he teaches his older son the proper way to wear a hat, and horses around with his younger son. They each have their own individual relationship, and he is actively involved and encouraging the relationship. Not a dead beat dad, not an over worked dad, but this guy is a guy who doesn't only have a great taste in cereal, but also loves his children and loves being a father to them

     - lastly, the add portrays family in such a positive light. There are 4 kids in the ad, which most people would say was too many. Anything over a boy and a girl can get you weird looks these days. (I'm not a mother, but I've been told. Plus, I get weird looks when I say I want at at least 3-5 kids). So, there are 4 kids, but the family isn't perfect, there are at least 2 or 3 scuffles between kids in the ad itself. Families are messy, a bit chaotic, but also full of love. The entire house is working toward the goal, which for this ad is getting out the door. The family works as a unit, and the dad is the head leading and encouraging his children.

If that doesn't make you want to eat cheerios, I don't know what does.

Hats off cheerios!

 - new thought - This song-- Shake it off - Taylor Swift

I'm not an avid T-swift follower, but I do enjoy her music. I was browsing face book (no judgement people) and saw a link someone posted to a new song a hadn't heard of called "Shake It" 

Well, if you don't know, I'm usually curious (sometimes nosey) and click on links like it's nobody's business. Naturally, I clicked this the link and was sent to youtube for this fantastic video and song! 

It's totally my new cleaning song, a great song to get you motivated to do things as the end of summer comes nearer, and a great soundtrack for dancing in the kitchen.

Why Do I like this song, well... let me list you 3 reasons

1. It's got a good beat, easy lyrics to remember, and a care-free feel. The song is called shake it off  - how could it not be care free! 

2. It is great to dance to - you can double time, or do a slower more interpretive feel to it - really what ever you want. The video also is Tswift herself awkwardly dancing in front of people who actually know how to dance various styles. It's pretty hilarious, and probably an accurate depiction of how I dance most of the time.

3. It's got a good message behind the lyrics. You could at the very least and say that the message is "Haters gunna hate" but more importantly it speaks to the truth that happiness is not based on external factors, but rather internal disposition. It's a reminder that we are not at the mercy of our attitudes, but we control them.

Let's be joyful!  and have a good week my friends! :)

The Words of the Faithful

So, as many (all) of you know I'm Catholic and also human. And as a Catholic human, I sin. And also as a Catholic human, I go to Confession. I try to go regularly because, well, I need it... and it's good for the soul. Get some healing.. in my mind it's like setting a broken bone straight again. Sometimes you need to reset it a few times before it takes. But Christ is patient with me, so that's always a good thing.

Anyway... So the other day I moseyed myself over to confession and stood in line. The line was long (extra time to think about all the times I didn't love Jesus in the past month) but I figured better to have people sin and confess than sin and not confess. After examining my conscience I grabbed my rosary bracelet and began to pray (it's hard to stay focused in line man... Mary helps.)

In front of me in line was an older gentleman who every few minutes would whisper "Jesus."  Nothing really stood out there; he was old, and sometimes older people don't know a quiet whisper from a loud one. 

He went to confession (sound proof... no worries there) and then came out. He knelt down before the tabernacle close by the confession lines and began his penance. He started with an Our Father. It was a labored and loud whisper and at a slower pace that made me question my lightning Rosary speed I had adopted. Then he moved to a Hail Mary, but before he named his intention

"Thank you for courage for confession 

and I pray for those who do not have the courage to go.

...Hail Mary.." 

My prayer was silenced.  How many years had this man been faithfully going to confession? How many times had the name of Jesus passed over his lips in desperation, joy, in confusion or hope? How many ways has this man's brokenness been healed? But even more importantly, how many people have been to confession because of his prayers for those who do not have courage?

Confession is hard. It's awkward, and humbling. But this man's loudly whispered prayer is a witness to the faithfulness that Christ has in the Sacrament. This man lovingly named his savior in preparation of receiving the grace and mercy of Jesus only to then pray for others to come and receive what he had experienced. It's a reminder to me that I need to constantly pray for and bring others to Christ. 

Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to go to confession.

Lord, help me to bring others to you in the sacraments, and pray that others may find the courage to seek your healing mercy.

Amen.

Pre-Mass musings

Sometimes blogging is scary - what should I say, will it be right, and will anyone read it? If I only have a few things to say, is it even worth writing? 
Well - I decided to get over the fear of perfecitonist-blogging - so here are my two thoughts from this weekend...

Thought 1 - Thoughtful acquaintances bring kindness up a notch...
here's the story - Aaron and I went to the (only) local Catholic book store to pick up a few things for him to take to Haiti for the mission trip. The store is owned by his friends parents and as he was checking out - I was browsing the books. I saw a book that was recommended to me - "33-days to Morning Glory - A Do-it-yourself retreat preparation for marian consecration"  by Fr. Michael E Gaitley. I've been inching through another book of his and made a comment about the one I saw in the story. Now the Store owner (who I've only met briefly two or three times) pulled out from behind the counter a gently used one that someone had brought back. She said "here, If you want to read it, you take this one" "Are you sure?"  "Of course - it's used but I would love you to have it."

So - now I have my own copy - and am super excited... see...

so in a nutshell - Mrs. Dart never needed to give me the book - she could have said I have a discounted one you  can buy, or even just say noting.. but she was kind, for no reason.. makes me wonder how thoughtful I am to those who I kinda know, the acquaintances I only see once in a blue moon. Do I remember key parts of their life? Do I go out of my way to be thoughtful and kind? Well - thanks for the inspiration Mrs. Dart - Challenge accepted!



Thought 2 -  Today I am thankful that I could sleep in and do Yoga.
The story- For the past two months Aaron and I have been going to the 9am Mass, and then to a class afterward through the Church. The last class was last week... So this week naturally is sleep in for Mass day. It's simple, but it was nice to wake up early anyway (darn you work sleep patterns that bleed into my weekend!) and have some time to relax, and do some low cost yoga via iPhone app.

It's simple - but still a great way to start my Sunday.

BONUS thought 3 - Princess Christine Center comes to see me tomorrow - I'm BEYOND excited!

Fairy tale dreaming

When I was younger I remember dreaming of a handsome catholic man who was eager to defend my dignity, who desired to know Christ more, and who was willing to commit his life completely and faithfully to me in marriage. I always figured that since marriage was my God given vocation, once I found that handsome young man I would be all set. Everything would fall into place: my life would be perfect.

Fast forward to 2014. I have found a handsome man (Aaron) who is catholic, defends my dignity, loves Christ, and (jackpot!) even is willing to commit himself to me in the sacrament of marriage this upcoming August. So, how's my life? Far from perfect. After our engagement I kept waiting for the bumps in my life to smooth out. It was a shock at first when it didn't instantly happen. I kept thinking, 'this isn't what happens in the movies when the couple declares their love for each other. Where is the montage of smiles and cute moments? The cheesy music? The pan out to a sunset in the background? Why am I still stress out, why is work still hard, and why isn't my relationship perfect?'

Then I realize, my life isn't a movie. Having a fiancé doesn't fix everything, just like having a boyfriend won't magically make your life perfect. And a wedding won't give a rocky relationship a 180degree turn. 

Ladies, I'm speaking to you, mostly because that's what it know. We need to stop putting our hopes and dreams of a perfect life in a guy because well, we will always be let down.

I love my fiancé with all my heart- but my relationship isn't perfect- how could it be? It's made up of two sinners. The entire relationship has tested my selflessness, my patience, my humility, the list can go on and on. We fight, we forgive, we grow, and all together work on loving as Christ loves.

And yes, Aaron is there to help get me to heaven; for this I am eternally grateful (literally). However, the main effort needs to be coming from me, from my hearts desire for Christ and his love. 

It is by working on that heavenly relationship that we all can find the peace that we long for. Our lives will never be perfect, sin will always be there to tease, tempt, and take us away from God. But know that Christ is always here with us giving us the most complete love we can experience.

Let's put our trust and hope in that love. His perfect love, because being a child of God is our first vocation in life.

#WhyWeMarch

Have you been to the March for life? I have.  In fact, I’ve been going (almost) every year since I was 14. And out of those 10 years, I’ve only missed one March for Life.  I went with my dad as a chaperone in high school all 4 years. I helped plan my college trips (all but one) as a member of the pro-life group. And even after college, I started bringing the teens I was in charge of down to the March for Life.  It was my favorite activity as a teen, one of the best parts of the college group, and my favorite outing to plan as a youth minister. (I’m crazy, I know) ((side-note that is also where I met my now-fiance for the first time!))

Each year I was inspired, seeing so many people from different states, denominations, walks of life, and ages. I loved to join in the songs and chants and prayers of my fellow marchers. We would play the game ‘guess which order’ with all the nuns walking around. Each trip brought tears of sadness over the culture of death; but tears of joy and hope reminded me that the fight is not over. It would be cold, stressful, engaging, and prayerful. But in the end, I would come back from the trip with 2 things: 1. a sore throat from the cold/singing/yelling and 2. A stronger resolve to witness to life.

Now I have a ‘real job’ as some would call it. (But since youth ministry is a real job, I’ll call mine a ‘traditional job’) And I can’t take 2 days off mid week to stand for something that I have been passionate about since 5^th grade. To be honest – I was super bummed.

I am now a core member at a different parish, and my fellow core members all asked if I was going on the trip. I sighed, shook my head and say “No” in disappointment.

I want to go. And part of me feels like I need to go. How else will I get my yearly booster shot of crazy-prolife-ness? Without that all night rally, how will I be able to have my pro-life holy hour?  How will people know I’m pro-life if I don’t stand with the other hundreds of thousands of people?

The answer is simple. Others will know because of how I live my life. The March for Life may give national exposure to the pro-life movement. But how we live and interact each day is how we truly will change hearts, which is how eventually we can change laws, but more importantly save lives and heal the hurting.

So, if there are others out there like me who won’t be marching – don’t be discouraged. Christ calls not just the marchers, but all of us. He wants us to live with a zealous desire to love each person because of the person they are, not what they can do. He asks us to pray each day for those who are contemplating abortion. He needs us to treat the elderly with dignity. We are the ones who witness, not just one day, but EACH day.

The day of the March my heart, thoughts, and prayers will be with the Marchers in DC and those whose hearts may change. My news feed will be full of #WhyWeMarch posts with pictures and stories. And while the March for Life event is only one day – we truly need to march for life each day.  So, for all of us who won’t be at the March for Life, let’s hold down the forts at home, in our schools, and at our jobs. Jesus asks us to live with love and give others dignity each day, and that should be #WhyWeMarch each day.