Militia Imaculata

So, new years 2010 was spent in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament in Mary Town retreat center outside of Chicago. And it was amazing.
Like many retreats, we wrote letters to our future selves, this is the letter I received.

Mary, my mother and protector,
thank you for guiding me onto this retreat and through it.
As I continue to unfold the great mysteries of your son,
I ask that you may stay at my side and continue to guide my heart.

Wrap me tightly within your mantle,
nestled near the purest of hearts.
Carry me with you as you meed your Son and Lord.
I ask for your loving protection, especially during this time,
when so many things trip and consume the goodness of my soul.

Handmaid of the Lord,
give me your light to shine through the darkness,
and the weary recesses of my heart.

Oh great mother,
you love me as only a mother can,
through my failings and my mistakes.
You know the intentions of me heart.
Lead me on the path of fulfillment and
I beg of you to catch me when I stray.
My mind is stubborn, but help me
to always think of your example.

I am loving you with all my heart
and pleading for help and mercy
to rain on your unworthy daughter.

Take these prayers, my entire heart,
and place it at the foot of your Son.
All in His name.
Amen.

As I was running today this thought came to me. But first, let me set you up with the scene.

It is a beautiful day. Probably about 70 degrees, absolutely gorgeous. I am running, no music and hating every step. I'm frustrated with school, overwhelmed with work, and stressed out with my personal life. I keep having to move to the other end of the edge of the sidewalk too, because so many people have been spring cleaning their yards and there are tons of branches on their curbs to be picked up. this got me thinking..
The branches are dead, and are being cut away to make new growth. It truly is a positive thing. That is what spring is all about. I realized that the spiritual turmoil that I'm in is because I'm not allowing God to prune me, to cut away at my branches. And it is hard to allow him to take control, even Adam didn't want to follow God's lead.
So for the next few days that's my new prayer:
Lord, help me allow you to cut the noise, the hurt, and what is keeping me dead out of my life. It will hurt Lord, and I know that. That is why I'm scared. Do your worst Lord, so I can be your best. Amen.